Tumatagalog na si Inday!

OMG, kaka-receive ko lang nito at hindi ako mapakali kasi sobrang benta sakin. hehe.

Hindi na nag-eenglish si Inday!

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Amo:

Mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng Ingles. Ang sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at ng mga anak ko, palalayasin sa pamamahay na'to! Maliwanag ba?

Inday:

Ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw, sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalikdan ang matayog at palalong banyagang wika, manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkalooban.

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O diba, di na siya nag-Eenglish, pero nosebleed pa rin!

Tanginang Morning

Tanginang morning talaga I swear. I can't believe pa rin what happened kanina. Sobrang hell talaga. If you could only imagine lang my cute face kanina, sobrang galit na.

Anyway, so yun nga diba, my morning was like hell kanina, let me tell you the whole story. After typing my latest reviews kanina here sa multiply, I left home na to go to school. So I was two and a half hours early knina when I left kaya I was expecting na makakarating ako ng school an hour before my first class. Pero noooooooohhh. A series of tanginang unfortunate events was thrown upon me na ang only pagitan lang between the events were like, minutes lang talaga.

So yun na nga diba, I left home early tapos sumakay me ng tricycle only to find out na traffic na sa loob pa lang ng subdivision. Pero that time ok lang kasi I was thinking na I still have an hour to spare so what diba kung ma-late ng konti eh I'm like an hour early pa kaya.

So after nung not-your-average-everyday-tricycle-travel-time trip, I was on the highway na to find myself an FX. To hell talaga with the effin' local government kasi until now, ginagawa pa rin the damn roads and it was like taking forever na, not to mention the traffic that the palpak project causes and the putik that it generates. It was sobrang kadiri talaga when I was waiting for an FX eh I was wearing pa naman something black for a foot wear, eh mud looks gross kaya on dark colored shoes.

So anyway, I finally found an FX going to MRT right? So I thought i could relax na pero when I looked at the time I was 30 minutes advance na lang before my first class. My class kasi was 1030 and it was 9am na on my watch. It was ok lang for me kasi I won't be late pa naman, I just want to be early sa school para I could do something pa before going to class.

Come MRT station, people inside the FX were going like tsk tsk tsk and I was like why? When I left the FX, "OH MY GAWD". The MRT Station sa North Avenue was like puno ng tao. Public commuters were everywhere at yung pila was so long na even the entire kahabaan of EDSA was used as pilahan. As in ang haba talaga ng line and so I thought, "No way", it will take me forever kaya to ride the train kung ganun kahaba ang pila. Not to mention na I'm gonna make siksikan pa with a crowd na I don't know kung saan nanggaling plus the baho and init of the atmosphere because of the pawis these people generate. Kasi naman the MRT Station at North Avenue, sobrang liit, eh they know naman na people are gonna be flocking to that side of the station kasi it's the start of the line and maraming people from the northern part of Metro Manila are taking MRT to go to work. Tapos the security gurads pa are anak ng pagong sa kabagalan when checking passenger items. Dapat kasi the MRT officials invest na in Xray scanners like the ones they use in airports para mas mabilis ang checking and mas mabilis makapasok sa station kasi when you look at the platform, it was so empty kay, people are crowded lang along the stairs and elevators kasi they had to make pila pa because of the security crap.

Eto pa, I don't know kung bakit there are stupid people in the world, I mean, these people take the MRT everyday eh why pa do they have to fall in line and buy a ticket every time when they could just buy the stored value? Don't they know ba na it's cheaper compared to buying tickets everyday? Dagdag lang sila sa crowd that causes traffic sa MRT.

I don't talk like this pero since I was so pissed off kanina, I adopted na lang cofibean's style of writing para everyone knows how much I'm upset. So yun na nga diba, ang daming tao sa MRT so I took the bus na lang to Cubao para I could ride LRT Line 2 instead, kasi MRT kanina was hopeless. It was 9:30 when I rode the bus, I was still thinking na I'm gonna make it on time for my first class despit the fact na ubos na lahat ng reserve minutes ko. Pero hello, pagdating ng bus at Quezon Avenue, movement existed only along the sidewalks. SOOOOOOBRAng traffic as in. So I waited na lang a little kasi I was thinking na maybe the traffic will pass. Pero no. Naisip ko tuloy, sana sa Monumento na lang ako pumunta. It was such a wrong decision to go to Cubao. It was so traffic pero I can't go down kasi pedestrian lanes or the Eyesore Pink MMDA Overpass' were nowhere to be found. Tangina kasi the MRT eh, why pa kasi is it not built underground para people can cross pa rin EDSA when traffic, eh now look, you want to cross pero you can't kasi nakaharang the MRT line.

So yun, pagdating ng GMA station, I was all, "MA PARA!". I can't go this way. I have to go back. I was literally running na talaga to go to GMA-Kamuning station. I thought maybe walang tao dito and I could just take the MRT instead kahit sobrang puno, I'm gonna try my luck na lang and try to make siksik na rin with the crowd. Pero, oh well, as expected, hanggang labas din ang pila. So there it was. I am officially going to be late. I was running my way up the station to make it on the other side and then down again para sumakay ng another bus going to Monumento. Tangina pa the people in the line, they were blocking my way pa, eh I was literally running na nga trying to catch the time tapos they were all relaxed pa not making way for me to go as if not to care na nagmamadali na ako. As if naman I care about them noh? If I was born with no manners, I would have been kicking their asses off para lang umais sila sa daan ko kanina.

Tapos when I was finally riding the bus going to Monumento, the driver pa was stopping at all the bus stops he could find. As if it wasn't enough, they were taking so much time pa waiting for more passengers. Kulang na lang eh they park na the bus sa sidewalk so that they could wait for passengers all day. Kupal talaga the buses going to UE Letre Monumento.

1030. Ok so I'm late, but I'm not at school yet. Pababa pa lang ako ng bus and this time, I couldn't run anymore kasi aside from being really tired, I was kind of hopeless na rin to make it in time, I mean hellooooo, I was late na rin naman. It's not as if I could do anything about it, so why pa do I have to exhaust all my remaining energy running to the LRT station when I could just relax and think of a good alibi for my professor.

10:40. Finally nakasakay na ako ng LRT.

11:10. I went to class. It was such a long walk from Vito Cruz station to Andrew and then ninth floor. Next time na I have class at Andrew and I'm on a serious time pressure, I'll go down na lang at Quirino station. I just noticed earlier na its nearer Andrew than Vito Cruz.

So there. That was my morning. Sobrang detailed ba? Naiisip ko na kasi lahat ng gusto ko sabihin kanina when I was on the bus.

The Ederlyn and Inday TXTserye

I'm pretty sure everyone in my network uses Globe and they avail the unlitxt promo. Everyone who uses Globe's unlitxt promo since its dawn in the Philippine texting industry would pretty much have an idea who on Earth is ederlyn and Inday, right?

Anyway, apparently, their story's are connected and they are gaining popularity among sms subscribers making their way to sms stardom. Sobrang benta ng story nila, Ederlyn being the anonymous friend wannabe, a college girl from a prestigious university and Inday the ever so intellectual muchacha, and now, I have the compilation of them all.

I swear, matutuwa ka reminiscing the moments you were reading their story on your phone. haha.

It all started when Ederlyn invited people summer last year to join her in a summer getaway in Puerto Galera, all expense paid

"Uy! Sama ka samin, punta kasi kami ng friends ko sa Puerto next thursday, until sunday na un.. Ako na bahala sa foods and transpo, pati na rin sa tutuluyan natin may kamag-anak naman kami dun eh.. ha? Asahan kita..

- Ederlyn

Of course the usual reaction would be, "Sino siya?". then everything else happened.

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Add niyo naman ako sa friendster nyo. Kainis kayo, di nyo man lang ako ina-add. Tampo na ako. Seryoso ako!
ederlyn_here@yahoo.com

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Bakit nyo ba pinagdidiskitahan ang pinsan kong si ederlyn? Magbasa nalang kayo ng Tinig.com!

- Ederic

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patay na si EDERLYN, nasagasaan sya kanina ng truck sa cubao!

- UNKNOWN WITNESS #1

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wag po kayong maniwala sa mga nagkakalat ng chismis na patay na ko…andito lang ako sa kapitbahay namin nagvi-videoke kasi bday ng tatay nya.

- Ederlyn

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“Please stop texting anything about Ederlyn, kung sino mang bruha ang magkakalat, please stop it, This is not right, im serious..

- Cheverlyn (kapatid na bakla ni ederlyn)”

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SINO SI EDERLYN?” text promo! Win a chance to meet and greet Ederlyn LIVE! Just txt EDERLYN GUESS and send to 2366. Text na!

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Sa mga tao pong nagtatanong at hindi nakakakilala kay Ederlyn, girlfriend ko po siya. - Arman

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Ako ang magpapalubog sayo Ederlyn…abangan mo ang ningning ko.

- Chona Mae (upcoming star)

Pakipasa po para sumikat ako.

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Ui, invited daw tayo sa birthday ni Ederlyn bukas. kita kita na lang tayo dun. text text na lang.

- Ace

Sino ba yun? Kilala mo? Finorward lang sa kin eh! hehe!

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Guys, e2 nga pala ung number ni ederlyn 0919*******, hinahnap nya kau kanina, pwde p daw kaung humbol, naku nagt2mpo n un sa inyo, bt d nyo man lang dw bnati, pktxt nyo na lng, yngatz.

- Almira, pinsan ni ederlyn, (todo na to!) lumalaki n ang angkan nila, hehe!Ü

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Oist, ba’t di ka ngpunta sa birthday ko? Andun kaming lahat. Tatampo ko sa ’yo, parang di ka nasabihan :(

- Ederlyn

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Chona Mae, anak, ipaghahanda din kita s birthday mo. Tatalbugan natin party ni Ederlyn. Hahaha!”

- Aling Claudia, nanay ni Chona Mae n kapitbahay ni Ederlyn. Woohoo!

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NAGBABAGANG REBELASY0N.

Madaming nagttnong! Kinukuwestyon ang pagkatao nya! Ngaun, handa na siyang humarap sa publiko at sagutin lahat ng katanungan sa kanya. Ilalabas na din nya ang kanyang hinanakit sa diumanong nilangaw n birthday celebrati0n nya. EDERLYN babasagin na ang katahimikan!

EXKLUSIBO, LIVE S THE BUZZ!  - JaN 14 EPISODE. ÜÜ

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Medyo inde nyo muna malalaman mga mangyayari sa aking buhay… Mag su-sun na ksi ako..! Mga fans lipat nrn keo……

- Ederlyn

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At hanggang sa umeksena na si Inday, ang katulong nina Ederlyn. Pumasok si Inday bilang katulong nina Ederlyn last June lang.. Baguhan siya kaya medyo wala pang masyadong alam sa pagiging katulong.. Isang araw, inutusan ni Ederlyn si Inday:

"Ederlyn: Inday! Pagkatapos mong maglaba, linisin mo buong bahay pati kisame at kaskasin mo yung tiles ng dalawang pool! Paliguan mo na yung tatlong aso at magluto ka na ng hapunan dahil maya-maya lang, darating na ang sir mo. Tapos, pumunta ka kina Mrs Rosales, dalhin mo yung apat na malalaking kahon. Bumili ka na din ng isang galing mantika, ketchup, toyo, 10 sardinas, 20 corned beef, 30 century tuna, 15 maling, at isang sakong bigas. Oh, heto pera. Sakto yan. Maglakad ka na lang at strike mga tricycle ngayon, okay?


Inday: TANG INA MO!"

Simula nun, nabuwisit na si Ederlyn sa kanya. Pero sa halip na sisantihin niya si Inday ay pinag-alsa balutan niya to at ipinadala sa Inglatera para doon mag-aral ng good manners and right conduct.

Makalipas ang 2weeks, dahil crash course lang naman ang kinuha ni Inday (kagaya nang kay Angel Locsin) ay bumalik na ito at muling sumabak sa pagkakatulong. Ngunit isang napakabagong Inday ang nasaksihan nina Ederlyn. Basahin mong lahat ito:

People ask, why fall in love when being hurt is a certainty..
My answer?
It makes me feel alive!
Coz wether I feel the greatest hurt or the greatest love..
There is sheer bliss or flood of tears..
I'm on top of the world or at the bottom of the sea..
It made my heart beat fervently..
I tell you, I'd rather fall in love over & over again than to blend in w/ millions of heartless zombies who resolved to play safe..


- payo ni Inday kay Ederlyn na ayaw na mainlove..

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That was the last time na nasa eksena si Ederlyn. Apparently, Inday resigned submitting a very well-versed resignation letter. (Sana may kopya ako. Na-receive kno na yun before kaya lang na-delete ko na).

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Ma'am / Sir

I hereby tender my irrevocable resignation as your employee, effective today. It has been a pleasant stay in your company, but owing to persnal reasons I am compelled to move on. I would like to thank you and your good managementfor the wonderful experience accorded to me during my stay in your company.

Yours truly,

Inday

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Then after that, she looked for a new job and finally landing an interview with her new amos.

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i beliv tht my traind skils & xpertise in managemnt with d use of stndrd tools, & my discipline & xperienc wil contrbute sgnfcantly 2d value of wrk tht u want,my creativty,productvty & wrk-efficncy & da hi qualty of outcomes i cn ofer wil boost d work progres

-sagot ni inday sa bgo nyang ppasukan! LuFeT!

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I am solitary. I find it hard to succumb into slumber. Yhough the downpour of rain should've made it easy. This exuberent emotional glue I have for you cannot be simply washed away. The multiplicity of what I feel for you is inevitable. This isn't platonic. It's real, true romance.

- INDAY, nag eemote sa may bintana, habang iniisip si dodong,ang bf nia..

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" I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness made itself manifests, extending to that niche where i was given life and growth, that because of austerity i was made seperated from...."

- INDAY habang ndi makatulog dahil na-ho-homesick . d=D

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Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one's body. It is therefore essential that once in a while, we take a break from our usual routine to replenish our lost energy.

- sagot ni Inday sa amo nya nang ayaw siya payagan mag-day-off.

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Dear Sir/Madam,

Attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisition in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made initial survey of the current market prices. Note however that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand which we also monitor on an hourly basis.

- Inday, nagpapaalam mamalengke

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Amo: Inday dba nan0od ka ng d buzz?

Inday: Opo.Bkt mam?

Amo: bkt dw umlis c Angel Locsin sa GMA7?

Inday: Sumtyms,people chus 2 leave not becoz of selfsh reasons but becoz dey just know dat thngs wil get worse if deyl stay.Leavng can b a tough act,& its hardr wen people cant undrstand u 4 doing so.

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Potatoes, when consumed in their raw state, are rapidly converted to glucose that raises insulin levels because of its simple sugar...when cooked in high temperature like french fries, they produce large amounts of free radicals in the body causing aging, clotting, inflammation, and cancer. 1 french fry is worse dan 1 cigarette.

- Inday (sagot nya sa amo nung tanungin xa kung bakit di sya nagluto ng french fries)
nuritionist din pala si inday

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"Heavy fire exerted by the stimulus affected the best conductor of heat which is the steel,causing the Oriza Sativa to change it's state of color,smell as well as the taste."


-sagot ni inday ng tanungin siya ng amo kung bakit nasunog ang sinaing.

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Bloody hell!!!
What's the rubbish that has landed on my fantabulous top? What I meant was, I had spent the entire day just to make myself look glamorous.I need to have this filthy thing removed in a whip wham of time!

- Inday, nag matalsikan ng mantika habang nagluluto.

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A change in the weather patterns might have occured causing havoc to affected surroundings.. the way debris are scattered indicated that the gust of wind is going northeast.. causing damage to the path it is going..


-sagot ni inday sa amo nung tinanong kung ba't nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay

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Listening to the nonsense talk about someone's life is a pathetic way of entertainment..it doesn't contribute to the good of society..i hate character assassinators!..

- reklamo ni inday nang natsismis siya ng kapitbahay.

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It has come to my attention that vicious rumors about me which amount to nothing more than hearsay are being propagated by you throughout the community. I demand that you cease and desist immediately or I will be forced to take unsavory measures against you.

- Inday, kaaway ang tsismosang kapitbahay.

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It's not that i dont like you. Its just that i feel we're still to young to entertain thoughts of fornication in the domicile of our employers. In fact, its very immature to insuate that i dont reciprocate ur emotions just because i decline to perform an act of coitus with you.

- inday, nireject si dodong na makipagsex

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Love, a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain causes the eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.

- inday, gumagawa ng blog entry sa multiply account niya..

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Off you go! Under no circumstances this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution...!!!

-INDAY pinapaalis ang makulet na pulubi sa gate

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Misis: Inday! Bumili ka nga ng mga isda! Oo nga pala, inglesera ka na nga pala ngayon. Would you please purchase many fishes for our this week's meals?

Inday: Judging from your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes", although rarely and erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traverse the road to the wet market would be: What type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day's catch" (Pauses) Aaaaahh. By manner of careful extrapolation, given the neager budget and this household's quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple "Ga-lewng-gong", am I correct?

Misis: Leche!

Inday: Oh, you meant the freshwater milkfish? The "ba-ngooz." Is it not?

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Higher stock index and low flow of investments triggered inflation prices, thus the peso is weak.

- dahilan ni Inday kung bakit kulang ang sukli.

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Inday:
Due to the infrequent mass media coverage around hogcholera, I'd consequently given a judgement on sauteing exquisite scallops in unsalted butter together with pungent white onion and tossed it with brisk asparagus... I'd also assented to twist it with fresh lemon zest and advance its taste via blending a petty amount of chardonay white wine as well as a cup of viscous cream.

Amo: (napatumbling)

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Amo:
Inday! Ba't ang alat ng sabaw?

Inday:
The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amounts of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.

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Please.. It is indeed reprehensible for us to have a carnal knowledge. If you be adamant to unlawfully intercalate your limb into my citadel of pleasure I would be legally responsible to allege this juncture to your spouse.

sagot ni inday nung pinipilit syang makipasex ng amo nya.

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It is always necessary for people to find escape from their daily routine. A person who has been under a lot of stress and has undergone a week of hardshiops and trials would find that some of the best cures for all anxieties can be found in times of solitude and silence and in retreat from his usual environment.

- Inday, gusto na talaga magday-off.

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" Allergens trigerred the immune response. Eosinophillic migration occurs to the reaction site and releases fchemotactic and anaphylotoxin including histamine and prostaglandins is facilitated. These substances result to increased circulation of blood at the site, promoting redness."

- sagot ni Inday nung tanungin siya kung bakit may rashes si Junjun.

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Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well-engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ...


- sagot ni Inday nung tanungin siya ng amo kung bakit may bukol si junior

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Stop your raucous behavior! It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens, there will be corresponding punishment inflicted upon you!

- Inday, pinagsasabihan ang mga bata na wag malikot.

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It's absurd! It's not proven fact that he was the one who started the fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic children in this educational institution. Revise your policies because it sucks!

- Inday, kasama si Junior sa principal's office

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Dear Mother,

Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed moments ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn't enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabbily run academe. Oh, such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never thought being a governess can be such a strenous employ!

Love,

Inday

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Dear Inday,

Walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa ospital ang nanay mo, dumugo ilong kababasa ng pesteng sulat mo!

Nagmamahal,

Tatay

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P700   - sun plan subscription
P1800  - glutathione tablet
P600   - olay total effects
P900   - havaianas
P2000  - for mama

- binubudget ni inday ang sahod niya

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At ngayon, maraming umaapela sa pagsikat ni Inday. Dahil nausungan pa niya ang career ni Ederlyn sa text, marami ngayon ang sumisira kay Inday...

"Wala kang utang na loob, Ingrata ka! Traydor ka!
Masahol ka pa sa masahol!
Hindi ka na nahiya, mukha kang pera!
Ginawa lang kita, kaya kahit anong oras at kahit kailan, kayang-kaya kita wasakin!

- Ederlyn, bitterness and all"

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" Excuse me, iba pa rin ang ate ko! Mas sikat siya kesa sayo! Huwag kang masyadong papansin sa mga tao..."


- Chakalyn kapatid ni Ederlyn

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"Hindi porke magaling ka sa English eh tama ka na!

- Ederlyn pa rin, bitterness pa rin.."

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And then may mga messages na kumalat saying Inday is dead. But they were proven wrong!

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I was shot by a 9mm bullet at the head damaging my brain and my entire cranial system. No longer will you hear me speak English. The age of nosbleedlessness has come.

- in Loving memory of Inday

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FLASH REPORT:
Inday is alive, she's not yet dead.SOCO found out that the impostora of Inday was killed. Ederlyn was the master mind.

SOCO: Bakit mo pinapatay si Inday?

Ederlyn: Kasi inagaw niya sakin si Nunoy G.!

Inday: Mythemaniac! He was never yours.

Ederlyn: Noy, mahal kita... diba mahal mo rin ako?

Nunoy G.: I never said... that I love you!

(yes ibang level. maging sino ka man)

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Who the heck unconsently scattered or what I mean was, dishonestly disclose the gossip that I'm already in such a necrotic state? I egotistically comply that some sort of certain criticisms provoked by people who somewhat disrespect my totality shall condemn them to scourge. Thou shall not produce such indefinite and quasi-ridiculous information without any appealing and reliable testimony.

- sagot ni Inday sa mga kumakalat na patay na siya.

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Ok, there you have it! I guess yung iba spoiler. Sayang, wala nang thrill pag na-receive nyo sa text. Hehe. Pero diba? Sobrang benta, and I know you were smiling. Marami pang iba, so if you have more ederlyn and inday messages, just add it here.

(I know marami ring messages about Chona Mae)