Jesus Christ is Now Following Me on Twitter

Last night when I checked my email, I was surprised to receive this message. It made me laugh a little. Haha. No seriously, it's like God is power tripping me. Haha. I don't know if it's just me but it reminds me of the people down the LRT-Vito Cruz station giving away stickers of "Jesus Saves" harassing passersby to donate something. But then again (this is the religious me talking), it reminds me of my Christian duties.

How long has it been since I last went to church? New year's eve? I was at church last Sunday but I didn't exactly go there to be there, I was waiting for someone so it doesn't count.

Here is the rest of the message.

So I checked it out and it's not really the kind of place for spiritual healing and whatnot but it's fun. The twits are laugh-worthy (not in a mocking way), but yeah, it kind of is. It gave me a dose of entertainment enough to last me an hour. http://twitter.com/kingofthejews.

---

Here are some of the note-worthy twits:

 

please, my sheep, do not DM me your prayers, for a prayer you cannot share with your brothers and sisters cannot be a wish from the heart.if you seek my help, my wisdom, or my forgiveness -- send me a replyyou know the path ahead of you my child, accept the Lord Jesus into your Twitter friend list.

when my children don't follow me first, i have nothing else to do but follow them myself. (auuugghh)beware of false prophets, specifically @jesus & @jesuschrist, for they do not know me or my father

@kingofthejews could you microwave a burrito so hot that you yourself could not eat it.@matthew_carver no, because eventually the burrito would burn up into ash, and would cease to be a burrito; such is the order of things.@kingofthejews... where is my soul mate on earth? i want to knock on her door and say hi.@snorkelman37 first you must detach yourself from expectation, only then will you find her.@kingofthejews ... how exactly does one detach from expectations of life and religion?@snorkelman37 it is not for me to answer in 140 characters, you must look within, and to the wisdom of prophets and their writing

i wish my children would stop tweeting about offline Gmail support and start tweeting about my love@kingofthejews Also, do you recommend a place to sell my stuff so I can donate the $$$ to the CEOs, er poor people?@joshuamauldin we all love eBay in heaven, Amazon is a close second.@kingofthejews Hi Jesus! I think you're *hot*.@tilama that, my child, is an understatement.@kingofthejews personal question: boxers, briefs, or commando?@sethgray if it is a personal questions, then why are you asking me?

Those are just some of them.